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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23068792">Patterns Repeat Themselves</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/antanddec_fanforever/pseuds/antanddec_fanforever'>antanddec_fanforever</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Rocky Trail [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fights, Fist Fights, Gun Violence, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Knifeplay, M/M, Minor Violence, Tragedy, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:35:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,579</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23068792</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/antanddec_fanforever/pseuds/antanddec_fanforever</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A tragic event forces Robert and Cody's Relationship to take a horrible turn for the worst.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Robert Small/Cody Vince, Robert Small/Dadsona, Val Small/Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Rocky Trail [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1660684</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Special Note From The Author</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A Note From Theronmancer</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hey guys! I'm gonna be reworking the first Chapter. I'm gonna be adding more details, feelings, characters etc. I feel this story needs it.</p><p>I feel that the first chapter isnt as well written as the second and it just needs.. An upping. Improvement, whatever you wish to call it. </p><p>I will be doing this over the course of the next few weeks, so stay tuned.</p><p>EDIT: </p><p>Chapter 1 (Which is Chapter 2 in the story) Has been updated! It's got more feelings and another scene added to it! Enjoy guys!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Falling Apart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Robert recieves some news and Cody does his best to comfort him.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I'm afraid. I haven't heard from him for over a week and it's worrying me. He usually sends me something to let him know he's okay. But he hasn't, which is why I know something is wrong. He doesn't go this long without contacting me unless something went wrong. I do not hesitate as I pull out my phone and immediately shoot him a message.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To Robert:</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Hey. I'm worried about you. I haven't heard from you in over a week. I miss you and so does Max... I will not pretend to know what you are going through or  what's going on.. But I'm here for you. I'm here whenever you need me at any hour, at any time. I will always be here for you, baby please give me a sign that you are out there. You are scaring me Robert, I don't know what to do with you gone.. It's honestly freaking me out right now.</em>
  </b>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>I hit send and awaited for a reply anxiously. When I dont get one immediately, panic coursed through my veins and my anxiety starts to kick in. I know he sucks at communicating, but it's late and he usually replies to my texts at this hour. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> I stand up and start to pace, my mind running with all possibilities of what I should do. I know if I go over there, he will just be mad at me, especially if I use the key that I had Mary cut for me. But what else could I do? He isn't responding to my texts and it is honestly making my veins course with worry and the worst possible situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My heart is hammering in my chest, my throat is dry and I can feel my eyes welling up with the thoughts of what he could possibly have done to himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I have to get to him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I should have gone to him days ago… he needed me and I..  I just left him to his thoughts.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With my mind made up, I bolt for my bedroom and change into a warm pair of pants, a Green T-Shirt, throw on one of Roberts red sweaters, his scents lingering and I inhale it, breathing heavily. He always was leaving stuff here and I often more times than not, found myself sleeping in it. After my brief episode of intoxication, I apply a generous amount of deodorant and grab my phone, keys and wallet from my bedside table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> Before I could swiftly head back to the living room, the sound of someone banging on my door startled me, and I quickly went to answer it. I threw  it open and revealed a drenched, distraught Robert. He didn't say anything as he stood there, the rain covering him. He was completely soaked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh Robert..” I breathe out, holding out my arms for him and bracing myself for what's to come. He collapses into my arms with a sob, his arms latching onto me for dear life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I drag him inside immediately and sit him down on my couch, making sure he is sitting up straight before I kneel in front of him and take his shaking hands into my own, giving him a reassuring squeeze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Robert, baby.. What's wrong?”, I ask, the concern all too obvious in my voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He's not looking at me, his eyes fixated to the floor as he tries to gather himself. I can tell he's struggling to answer. I do wish to push him, not when he is in such a fragile state.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I open my arms to him and he immediately  crashes against me. I'm pulling him as close as I can get him, his clothes are completely soaked from the rain, but I didn't care. That wasn't important. What was important was his well being. He's broken right now, and he needs all the comfort he can get.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> As I hold him close, he sobs uncontrollably. It hurts to see and I don't know what's the cause of this. His tears soak through both layers of clothing, but I don't care. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Robert?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“W-What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His broken voice causes me to flinch, and grimace. “What's the cause of this? What's.. Happened?.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Val.. She.. She's.. Gone..”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I frown and stroke his hair. What is he talking about? What does he mean she is gone? Gone where?.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gone?....”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“D-Dead… Car Accident” He sobs as his arms wrap around me and pulls himself as close as he can, sobbing against me, his tears hot against my soaked skin. He squeezes onto me rather painfully, I mutter comforting words to him as I hold him and he cries his heart out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no. Not Val.. Poor Robert... </span>
  </em>
  <span>My face was pale white. My heart was hammering in my chest and I was struggling to breath while my arms were wrapped around Robert. His daughter was taken from him in the same way that Marilyn was and he was breaking as a result. He needs me.. I need to ensure he doesn't do anything drastic. I need to keep him near me at all times. He loved his daughter so much.. And they had just started to fix their relationship too. Now that she is gone, the hole once more has to be filled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I hate this. Hate seeing my boyfriend like this. It's painful to watch him cry and I, at times, go along with it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he cries against me, I kiss the top of his head and squeeze him, telling him through touch that I'm here for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We stayed like this for a while, me and him. Me holding him and comforting Robert the best I can. I endure through this with him, knowing he can't do it alone. He needs someone and I am willing to be that person..  I always was. I feel there isn't much I can do right now besides hold him. I'm sure he's exhausted. Since he got the news he likely hasn't been sleeping, which judging by his absence, he hasn't slept for a week at least. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When his crying subsides, I rub a circle into his back and let him have a few moments. When he doesn't move, I frown. I look down on him and realize that he is in fact asleep. Sighing to myself, I rest my head against the pillow and brace myself for the long night ahead.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>____________________</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>I wake with a start. I do not know why I woke, nor do I realize where I am until I grab my phone and check the time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>3:27 am</span>
  </em>
  <span> I groan as my eyes slowly start to adjust to the darkness and I rub my face. I try to pinpoint why I fell asleep out here, but I don't have too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My body shakes slightly and I frown, craning my neck to look downwards. I smile a little at the body below me, Robert’s arms wrapped around me and our limbs a tangled mess. It's only when he shakes again and I notice just how hard he is holding onto me, that I realize something is wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I try to shift myself so I can get closer to him, but he holds me firmly in place. I sigh, running my hands to run through his hair softly. I could feel him stiffen under my touch and I raise an eyebrow, moving my hand away and watching him relax again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What is wrong with him? Why is he reacting in such a manner?... I struggle with the answer and only when he mutters something under his breath do I realize why he's like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, don't leave.. Not again.” He sobs in his sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My back stiffens in response to that, my eyes full of concern. I move my hands to rub circles into his back and to tap his cheek in hopes of waking him. “Robert, wake up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only response I get is a fearful whimper. I close my eyes for a moment, retract my hands and brace myself for how I'm about to wake him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With all the might I can muster, I place my hands underneath myself and  I launch both of us off the couch, sending the twp of us to the floor, with him landing on top of me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I can tell the movement woke him though, as he gave a surprised grunt when he went for a ride.  He lays there for a moment, gathering himself before he is pushing himself off of me, rubbing his eyes and yawning as he moves into a seated position. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I flip over and look up at him, eyeing his state “Hey” I croaked </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes immediately flicker to mine and I can see the panic in them, until he realizes that it is me and his eyes relax a little. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I frown at this reaction and sit up, grabbing his hands and lacing them together. I rub small circles where I can and he sighs into it, smiling a little.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you see?” I ask, wanting to get this out of the way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes flicker with worry and he looks away from me quickly, breathing in and out several times as he composes himself. “I.. I saw Val dying. Heard her voice blaming me for her death.. Saying she hated me.. Marilyn was there too, blaming me for her little girl's death, and repeating the words of hate that Val was saying” His voice was broken, and quiet as he spoke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I could see the tears welling in his eyes and I stood, pulling him along with me. I squeeze his hands reassuringly and smile at him, nodding. “You are not the cause of it Robert, never think that, Okay?. There is no way that you are responsible for it.” I reassure him, my tone light and truthful. I know Robert, he will blame himself or he already is, but that's beside the point. He shouldn't be blaming himself for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know I shouldn't be blaming myself, beating myself up.. But I can't stop myself. I just can't stop thinking about it, thinking about what I could have changed.. What I could have done to prevent this. What I could have done for them not to have me.” The tears are falling down his face, leaving streaks as he speaks, the agony all too clear in his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sigh as I pull him along, knowing that he needs to lay down before he collapses. I quickly take us to my room and push him onto the bed, climbing onto it after him and snuggling up to him. I lock our eyes together and run a hand down his face slowly, watching as he closes his eyes and leans into it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Robert, you did everything you possibly could. You changed so much between the two of you, you improved your relationship with her. She didn't hate you, she loved you. So did Marilyn. Don't beat yourself up over a dream, Robert. It wasn't real.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he looks back at me, his eyes are red and  puffy from crying, his breathing is coming out in pants and I can clearly see the struggle he is having internally. He is struggling to accept my words and I sigh, cupping his face so he focuses on me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know it may seem real, but it wasn't Robert. It was a nightmare, don't let it consume you.” I tell him in a mere whisper, ghosting my lips against his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes flicker with the struggle still and I have to grimace. His mental state has always been so fragile, and with Vals death it is just so much worse. It breaks my heart to watch him struggle like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I am so oblivious at times that I do not notice the way his eyes settle into a calmer, more relaxed manner, nor the fact that he is putting his arms around me until he pulls me close and buries his face in my neck, breathing in my scent and sighing against my neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” I ask jokingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What does it look like?” His reply is stern, but I roll my eyes. I could tell he didn't mean it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Snuggling.” I replied, giggling. I found it adorable that someone like Robert liked to snuggle. You would think he wouldn't be into that kind of thing based off the fact that he has a tough guy demeanor, but in reality he is a big softy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He groans against me and props himself up “What? What is so funny?” He asks, the complaint in his voice setting me off into laughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes a few minutes and several threatening glares from Robert, but I eventually settle down into little hiccups of laughter “What I find funny is the fact that you like to snuggle. You act so tough.. But you really are a big old softy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He visibly rolls his eyes and settles back down beside me, pulling me so my head is resting against his chest, facing him. “And if you tell anyone, I will skin you alive in your sleep.” He threatened, his eyes were cold and serious..</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I snort at the look and he raises an eyebrow. We both knew the threat was empty, he loved me too much to do that. Then again.. He may be serìous. It's hard to tell sometimes with this enigma of a man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> I settle in against him with those thoughts, tangling my legs with his and moving my arms so they rest lazily against his chest. It doesn't take long before Robert is asleep, and I follow him several minutes later.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>___________________</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What I did not realize was that this was gonna be the last time we would be happy for the coming weeks. Things were gonna be taking a turn for the worst, and I was powerless to stop it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
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</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Relapse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A fight, Mary being Mary and Regret after hearing  some News.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Things aren't going well. Since that night, Robert has been out drinking every night at Kim's and Jim's, I’ve tried to keep a close eye on him, and I almost always end up following him. Each night he is drunk off his feet, forcing me to drag his drunk ass home, and I usually end up staying with him. He is unable to function properly when drunk, and I find it to be cute, but concerning at the same time. He is drinking himself to the grave.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No matter what I do to say, Robert always ends up at the bar, and I am growing increasingly concerned about his well being. It took time, me and him working at it, but he worked so hard to kick the Whiskey addiction and here he was, having another relapse with the alcoholic beverage.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I understand that his daughter died in the same way as both of our wives, but that doesn't excuse the relapse. He should have resisted it instead of turning to it. Should have turned to something, anything else. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tonight is no different, I sit with Robert for the first time in weeks, watching him as he downs another round of Whiskey shots. “Robert, You need to slow down,” I advise, my lips set in a thin line. I have been under alot of stress lately and since he started this habit back up, it is not helping. I fear I am hitting my wits end and I fear that tonight of all nights, I will end up snapping.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He glared at me angrily, he was  in the middle of a shot and set down the glass, his eyes cold.  I knew better. His emotions weren't always so easily revealed, by just his eyes. “Or what?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The challenge in his voice snapped something inside of me. These last few weeks have been so stressful, I have been watching him drown himself and there was nothing I could do about it. He always found a way around whatever I would say, or always ended up at some Bar if it wasn't Kim's and Jim's. I would find him of course, but that doesn't make matters any better, I always found his ass drunk regardless and had to basically carry him home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I'll leave, disappear, make myself drop off the face of the Earth.” I hissed, my annoyance clear.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Robert's eyebrows shot up, his eyes widening as he stared at me, his mouth opening, and closing several times before he closed it with a pop. I rarely spoke like this, and when I did, he knew I was serious, even when he was drunk. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>My heart sank when I realized what I am about to do, and I can't stop myself from doing it. No matter how hard I try, I cannot stop myself. All the built up of emotions are on the way out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You.. You wouldn't do that.. Would you?” He slurs, his voice quiet, and fearful. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I stared at him. Stared at the look of panic in his eyes, the way his mouth was set in a thin line, and how his body was shaking from either the effects of the alcohol or what I just told him? or both. I didn't care either way right at this moment. I was <em>pissed</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes I will.” I willingly admit, not wavering in my cold glare. I was tired of this and it really was stressing me out. Exhausting me to the point that I just collapse wherever my head hits and some of my friends are concerned. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>My next words had to get through to him though, otherwise I would lose him. Lose him to something we worked so hard to Crack and I refused to let it win. His next question though, would be the cause of my undoing and an unexpected turn of events.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why?” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You would think that the simple, yet innocent question wouldn't cause my face to heat up with anger, a scowl appeared on my face and my body to start shaking from the rage I was feeling, but after having to explain this night after night, I have had enough. Something in my mind snapped and my words were coming out faster then I could comprehend them, or stop myself.“Because I'm tired of fucking watching you down yourself with this shit!!!” I started, gesturing angrily at the Whiskey Shots “I'm tired of watching the man I love destroy the progress that he worked so hard for. I've had enough of dragging your drunken ass home and making sure that you dont kill yourself, You know your limit, You know when to stop, But you don't. Do you know how hard it is to watch your partner kill himself in front of you? and no matter what you do, he doesn't listen to your advice, and ignores your ability to try and help him?.” My anger was rolling off of me like a steam, and I could feel my face getting hotter. “He finds a way to go against your wishes while you are only trying to help him!!” I snapped, my voice was getting louder, and my tone was bitter. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He went to speak, but I was far from done. He had no <em>right</em> to say anything, and I wasnt gonna give him the chance.“No shut the fuck up. You don't get to speak, to make up a Goddamn excuse for this. There is none, And there is nothing you can say that will excuse your actions.” His mouth shuts at my words and he stares at me, with shocked, wide eyes. I run a hand down my face, my blood boiling as I try to breath. “I love you, But for fuck sakes, Robert. You are fucking hurting not just yourself, but the people that love you. This is not what either your Daughter nor your Wife would have wanted. Stop this fucking drinking, It's killing me to watch you relapse.” I snarled half heartily at him, my arms crossed over my chest as my breathing became labored. “You are making loving you very difficult, Robert. This heavy drinking is not helping , and I don't know how much longer I can keep up with it. At this rate, I am going to leave you to teach you a goddamn lesson.” I yelled, my icy cold voice echoing off the walls.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Bar had fallen silent during my outburst, I could feel everyone's eyes on me, but I didn't have a care in the world for them. I was staring hard at the man that was frozen in place, his hands shaking on the table and I stared especially hard at the single tear that found its way down Robert's cheek.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Got nothing to say, or add?” I asked, my teeth grinding together. What I was saying likely was crushing him, but at this moment I didn't seem to care about his feelings. I was too angry, too full of rage to care anymore. When he didn't move, or make a sound, I made a disgusted noise and stood up. “Whatever, forget I asked. I don't have the time for this anymore, Robert. Call or text me when you are sober for once.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I attempt to storm off, but don't get very far before I feel someone grab my arm, and stops me in my tracks. I know who it is. Putting on my best pissed off face, I turned around slowly and glared at Robert pointedly.  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Please don't leave me…” He pleads. “I.. I can't do this without you, Codes.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I'm sorry Robert.. I love you.”I said, ripping my arm out of his hold and shaking my head, once more backing away from him, my hands held up in surrender, “But I have to. For your own good. It pains me to do this, but I will do what I must to make you see.. I'm sorry Robert, I love you, But you are being an idiot, and I cannot standby and watch it any longer.” My anger had melted away the moment he said he cant do it without me, but I was still annoyed at him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He sniffles, his eyes fulll of pain and fear. His mind Is likely trying to make sense of what's going on and he's not liking what he is seeing. “B-But.. Cocoapuffs..-”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I dont say anything as he follows. When he was close enough, I raised a finger to his lips and watched his eyes flash with confusion. I smile sadly and lean forward, removing the finger as i do and watch his reaction. His body starts to shake again and my smile grows a little more.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Our lips meet and I kiss him passionately, He pulls me close to him, our bodys molding together perfectly as he kisses me back. I can taste Whiskey on his lips, sighing into the taste of his lips, my heart hammering in my chest. His skin is warm to the touch and my hands are ripping at his shirt, hoping to get under his shirt, and to start tracing patients on his smooth, perfect body for the last time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I was devastated that it came to this. Robert, and I sharing one last kiss before I had to show him the errors of this addiction all over again. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>We stay like this for awhile, living in the taste of each other, our eyes brimming with tears. He knows as much as I do that this can't last. I can feel it in the way he is kissing me. I wish this moment could last an eternity, but it had to come a screeching halt. I loved him and I had to do this for him. I would be forever happy with him and I would always love Robert with all my heart..</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But this has to stop. He was hurting me and himself, even if he wouldn't admit it. I've woken up multiple times in the past weeks to him having a Nightmare, having to consolidate him back to sleep each time. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I break the kiss to grab some air, resting my forehead against his as I stare into his sad, heart broken eyes. “I'm gonna miss you..”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His only answer is a Whimper. I kiss him once more on the Forehead and step back, feeling his arm brush mine, attempting to move and grab me again. “Robert, no.” I force, hating myself for it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His arm freezes half raised and he gives me a pleasing look, which I quickly look away from. Damn him and his eyes I thought, slowly backing for the exit. “Goodbye.. My best friend, lover and The best damn thing that's happened to me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With those final agonizing words, I left the bar, his agonized gaze on me until I was out the door.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What I did not realize was that was just the beginning of the storm, I had just set in a chain of events that would come to haunt me over the weeks to come. I would regret every angry word I said that agonizing night..</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>______________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The cool, Summer night doesn't help my mood. It's not that I don't enjoy it, I just can't bring myself to notice it enough. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As I walk home, I keep my hands in my pocket, my mouth set in a thin line and my eyes are as cold as steel. I don't say anything to anyone, including Craig, who tried to get my attention. But I shrugged him off and retreated to my little bundle of a home as quickly as possible, not wanting to be around <em>anyone</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Inside, I undress until I'm in a Thin Green T-Shirt, and a pair of Boxers, not caring since the house was empty anyways. I turn on the TV, and sit down with a stressful sigh, forcing myself to focus on the show in front of me, not noticing that I nodded off shortly afterwards.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>___________________ </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was hours later and I sat in my living room asleep. I was thrashing on the couch when I jolted awake with a scream, my eyes wild. I look around, and I let out a sign of relief, resting my head back against the couch cushions. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I couldn't feel anything right now, I was just, numb.</p><p> </p><p>My emotions were all over the place and I haven't been able to sleep without being woken up by Nightmares, ones that involved Robert dying. The TV was playing in the background, indicating I was watching it again before I nodded off once more. It was late, you didn't have to look at a clock to figure that out. The Cul-De-Sac was completely dark, aside from my house, indicating that I was the only one awake. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I let out a frustrated sigh and moved to stand, but the sudden pounding on my door caused me to jump and I glanced at it, debating if I should answer it. If it was Robert, I wouldn't be able to control my rage at him. But it could be someone else..</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Muttering dark thoughts to myself, I yell a quick “I'm coming” to the person knocking and go to answer the door. I get within a foot of the door before it is flying open and I blink, my face connecting with it, and I make a squeak of pain as the person walks in.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The person closes the door behind them, standing just out of my sight as they put a hand on their hips “Where are you, Sailor. I know you are here somewhere.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shit. I was not expecting Mary of all people, and if she is here, something must have happened. With a roll of my eyes, I flick the switch that's beside me “Here, Mary” I grumble, the lights turning on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The woman slowly turns around, and I get a feeling why Robert fears her. The look on her face is a dangerous one and I take a strong back, stumbling down the wall Into a sitting position.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh there you are. How are you?” She asked with kindness, Her body language and eyes suggested she wasn't here to ask me how I was though. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Uh.. Fine?” I mutter, feeling uncomfortable under her gaze. She looked hungry, and I had a feeling I was the prey.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh good. I have something to tell you.” She explained.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I blink, frowning at her. She was oddly calm, which made me uneasy. Something or someone must have requested she act calm in this situation, because I have a feeling she wouldn't be otherwise.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What's that?” I ask, after several minutes of silence</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She smiled then, a smile that sent shivers down my spine. It was an angry one. “Your Boyfriend is in the Hospital. He's in Critical condition. Thought you should know.” And then just like that, she left without another word.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I froze at her words. Robert in Critical condition?... What did he get himself into?. I quickly stood up and ran after her, my feet complaining, but I ignored them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mary! Wait” I called out, seeing her stop, her back stiff. “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With her back to me, I can't read her expression, but I get a feeling it's a mix of anger and agony. “After your little outburst, and the kiss you two shared, someone made a rude comment about you, Cody. You know how Robert is, he can’t stand anyone insulting his friends or family, so Robert being Robert” She gestured vaguely at his Truck and House for emphasis “He did what you can imagine, He got into a heated argument with the guy.” She informed me, turning around for the first time, and looking at me with pity. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why didn't you try and stop it?” I asked quietly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh I tried, Sailor. But the person Robert was arguing with simply slapped me aside like a street whore.” She pointed at a red mark across the right side of her face “That's when the fighting broke out. At first it was just a fistfight. When the person realized that the tables were turned against him and in favor of Robert, he pulled a knife. Normally I wouldn't be concerned,  But due to Robert being drunk, he got cut almost Immediately. He didn't let that take him down though, and just when the fool figured that out, he drew a gun and shot Robert. Neil tried to intervene, but the idiot had a friend and he kept Neil busy long enough for Robert to get hurt.” She finished, her arms crossed over her chest.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>My breathing was speeding up, and I could feel my heart aching. Pain was coursing through me, and Mary must have seen it, because her next words shocked me.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“He didn't want me to tell you, just so you know. He didn't want to worry you, or make you feel bad about what you did. He wanted to keep you from any pain. I tried to tell him it wouldn't work, but he didn't listen.” She told me sadly, before she walked back to her house, throwing me one last sad look on the way. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I quickly retreat back inside my house. I can feel a Migraine coming on, and I quickly run for the medication I keep for this exact reason. I grab a glass of water on the way to my master bathroom, entering the room and quickly opening the medicine cabinet. I grab what I need  and shut the small door, stopping to look at myself in the Mirror.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I'm a mess. My hair is everywhere, my clothes are wrinkled, and I have a morning shadow on my face. I grimace and exit the room, taking my medication on the way to the living room. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>My head starts to spin at the thoughts of him. The thought of him in the Hospital, in critical condition because of me? This brings back some painful memories from the past, of Alex in the Hospital, dying in front of me and Amanda. Tears welled in my eyes as I forced myself to the couch and lowered myself to a sitting position before I could collapse. I shouldn't have said the things i did tonight, i should have held my composure. But I didn't, and now the man that I feel head over heels for is in the hospital because of me. He is in there, dying due to what I said and done to him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Regret is pulsing through my veins. I lie down on the cold carpet, the tears falling from my eyes of the thought of him in a hospital bed, dying just like Alex did that painful night. Not able to hold  back any longer, I let my sobs begin to fill the empty space around me, curling in on myself and sobbing myself to sleep. This is not how I pictured the night would end.. <em>Regret.. Regret.. Regret..</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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